The gift of worry

How to stop worrying
Worry’s gift is wisdom

How to stop worrying, and move forward with confidence.

Many of clients are entering new realms: moving beyond loss, going back to school, writing a book, opening or growing a business. Often, they speak of fears, and can’t seem to stop worrying. They’re having trouble trusting, are afraid of losing people, or their savings. They worry about leaping into action before every detail is in place. And then they worry that they’re worried! So, what can be done with the fears?

Let’s back up for a minute. When we embark on a new endeavor, we’ve often taken a leap of fate, follow a gut feeling, or act on a deep knowing that’s been present and urging us for most of our life. That comforting sense of trust allowed our initial leap into action. Then fear set in. Especially in a world full of media where gloomy talk is bandied about like candy. It’s enough to make even the most optimistic take pause. So, how to stop worrying becomes an issue.

But resisting can focus our energy on what we don’t want. Instead of worrying about how to stop worrying, and trying hard to resist fears, put concerns in another light. In actuality, the brain’s analytical side has beneficial gifts. Those qualities have probably protected and assisted us every bit as much as our optimistic “leap of faith” side has. It’s only when the analytical side flies out of control to negatively impact emotions and forward momentum that a problem exists. And when your worries gain the upper hand, it’s easy to find evidence that our worries are true. It’s the way the mind works.

Change of Perspective Directives:

1) Rather than focusing on how to stop worrying, recognize that worry comes from our constructive analytical mind. It’s your positive, attention-to-detail character gone haywire.

2) It may be helpful to set aside 5 or 10 minutes a day to worry. Then worry constructively. Write down what that come to mind. When the time is up, put the notes away, tell that part of your brain to rest and that you’ll listen again tomorrow. Then say “hello” to your optimistic side. Try performing this switch at the mirror. Stand tall, shoulders back, and take a few deep breaths. Smile at your beautiful, confident self, and offer a friendly greeting. Welcome your highest self to the forefront. Your cheer and optimism will attract your wisest thoughts . . . and those of others.

3) After several days or a week, find a quiet time and go through your worry list. Remember the gift of the logical, analytical brain? There are likely some gems of wisdom within your notes. Pick out items on which you can take action. Find the niggling questions such as whether or not you’ll need a business license, worrying that people will reject you, fitting a new endeavor into your busy schedule, or what it takes to secure a business name as your own. Record these on an Action list.

4) Discard the old list. Burning harkens back to purification rituals from ancient cultures, and even symbolism from the Bible. So if that feels right, use the cleansing power of fire. If you don’t feel the need, then simply shred or otherwise discard.

5) With an Action list in-hand, accept the gift of detail. Begin testing the waters of possible rejection by sharing your feelings. Research answers about details you need to know. Block out needed time. Strategize . . . that’s how to use the gift of worry.

Because change doesn’t always happen overnight, and gloom may attempt to eclipse optimism, keep working at this. Rather than obsessing over how to stop worrying, take action where possible. As needed, continue relegating worries to a few minutes of list-writing a day. Then put that side of the mind to rest and welcome your higher, authentic self. In this way, you’ll expend energy from a place of deep wisdom rather than fear or lack.

When our vital energy vibrates with this warmth and optimism, we attract and are attuned to what’s best for us.

Sheri can help you transform worries into action steps and positive momentum for your life of balance and joy. Read more about coaching, and set up a complimentary 15-minute session.

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