Thirty days of awe: An Invitation to “magic”
Notice the quiet wonders that help settle a restless mind
by Sheri McGregor, M.A.
Yesterday morning, a blue heron walked past my bathroom window. Toothbrush in hand, I held my breath and watched as he walked earnestly, beak pointed straight ahead. This time of year, the gophers are active, and the lizards are a little distracted with spring romance. That makes them easier targets for hungry beaks.
As he headed toward the corner of the house, I moved quietly to the window and bent to watch. The stately bird must have seen me because he spread his wings, his long legs tucking beneath him as he effortlessly lifted into the air. Off through the trees—away from my view.
I’m grateful for that moment of magic, and the experience stayed with me. Think for a moment. When was the last time something small made you pause and smile?
Moments like that pass every day without us noticing. When our minds are troubled by worries and stress, our attention can narrow. The mind, like a flashlight beam, highlights the pain so intensely that everything else fades into darkness.
One way to shift that narrow beam from the ruts of rumination is to widen our perspective with a sense of awe—and what better time than spring to make it a practice?
Awe is the feeling that arises when something beautiful, mysterious, or unexpectedly meaningful captures our attention and briefly expands our sense of the world. In those moments we feel inspired and connected to something larger than ourselves. For a magic moment, we step away from entrapping mental loops and simply be—present with something beautiful.
To experience awe doesn’t require a rare up-close glimpse of a heron or other stately bird. Powerful moments of awe can be surprisingly small.
- light filtering through leaves
• the sound of rain after a dry spell
• a dog rolling in cool grass
• the moon rising quietly above rooftops
• a stranger’s unexpected kindness
The simplest of moments can feel like magic. Appreciating their beauty can remind us that even when we’ve been hurt and distracted by the pain, life goes on. Our purposeful presence in those moments allows them to carry us along.
Your invitation to magic
For the next thirty days, spend at least five minutes a day noticing something remarkable. Something that makes you think, Well, isn’t that interesting? Or beautiful, or kind, or touching… This doesn’t have to be something loud or dramatic either. Some of the quietest moments can, when we notice them, pull us in and inspire awe:
- a bird stopping for a crumb
• a cloud formation that mimics life—or fantasy
• a pleasant scent in the air
• sunlight moving across a wall
• the way a tree bends in the wind
• laughter drifting from somewhere nearby
• a moment of unexpected beauty or kindness
These moments are already happening. The challenge is simply to notice them.
Deepen the practice
Writing things down brings more focus and trains you to look for awe. Consider keeping a small journal about your magic moments. One or two sentences is enough (write more if the mood strikes!). Put the date, and label it, “My Magic,” or another phrase that makes sense to you.
Then remind yourself to look for it every day. When you go outdoors, look out the window, or go about your errands, think, “Where’s my magic?”
Record what you see—at least one item per day.
What tends to happen
In the past, when I’ve purposely looked for and recorded moments of awe, finding them becomes effortless. Beauty is all around, if only we’ll disengage from our busy-ness or woes enough to see and appreciate it.
Instead of readying for the next shoe to drop, attention widens. The mind that has been trained on problems begins looking for wonder and life. This shift doesn’t erase difficulties, but can relax their grip. Your mood is freed to lift, even for a moment. Thoughts settle, and a sense of connection to the world grows stronger.
If you’d like company along the way
Inside the membership community for estranged parents at rejectedparents.net, a discussion thread will be opened for Awe-filled Moments. I plan to put something inside it every day—and I know others will share their moments. It will become a peaceful string of beauty, like smooth pearls, or perhaps like prayer beads rolled through the fingertips of the mind and soul.
Let the world surprise you
Give yourself permission to look for what brings you joy. You might be surprised by what appears when you’re looking for awe.
Try it for a few days and see what happens. You may discover that the world contains far more magic than you realized. And if someone comes to mind as you read this, perhaps share the invitation with them. Sometimes noticing the world together makes the magic multiply—a refreshing change from the conversations centered on dread and all that’s wrong in the world.
Related
Gifts to yourself: Support your well-being even when your adult child breaks your heart
Thank you, I needed this today. Its been a crazy month already. Last month was my birthday 58th to be exact. Two days prior out of the blue my daughter texted me told me we weren’t invited to the kids birthday party’s coming up, and wanted to fight. ( This is not the only time, it was last October she did the same about the holidays) My oldest and only granddaughter is turning 16 on the 29th. Im so excited for her. But sad at the same time. My husband’s and I well our 34th anniversary is on St. Patrick’s day. I have blocked my daughter finally after years of her doing this to us. We do really good for the most part other than missing our grandbabies, until she pulls theses stunts of hers. But any ways. I just wanted to thank you for the emails and your blogs! Many blessings and much love sent your way.
Thank you this came after a hard day yesterday (Mothers Day in the UK) . I was grateful for the kindness of my precious friends who recognise the heartbreak of estrangement on such a day. I miss my daughter and granddaughters so much and my son in laws Mum is appalled and heartbroken for me as she also cannot get her head around what on earth has caused the estrangement. Sending strength and support to everyone going through this .
This article resonates with me. Every single day when I am outside walking with my dog, I can get lost in my thoughts and realize I am not breathing properly. Once I “wake up”, I make a point of paying attention to nature and I breathe deeply. Birds singing, a brook bubbling, children chattering in a schoolyard. The sky and clouds, aircraft overhead. It all has beauty and I breathe and calm myself.
Thank you for this.
A wonderful way to keep us out of the doldrums. Notice nature and the marvels that are happening around us all the time, every day. I live ” Down under ” and the birds I see in my garden every day are a miracle. The King parrots, Gala’s and kookaburra ‘s are a miracle. Thanking God for these and the ability to see and hear these birds is a gift and something we can rejoice about. Also Looking at the patterns of the clouds in the sky, the beautiful garden around me. It all helps to keep negative feelings in check. Thankyou Sherie for these reminder. Elaine
Lovely article thankyou sherrie … my simple joys are lying of my back watching the clouds… feeding the native birds and watching the pecking order 😂 … life has many pleasures we need to stop and ‘hear the still small voice of God’
i have created a “gummylump” box-full of goodies i can leave my grandbaby. She will get it even if i have passed on. cards, books, and things i would have sent her. she is 4. i have written a journal for her and will continue to do it.it makes me feel like i am doing something. my son has agreed to make sure she gets the box and the journal. it is not my issue. that helps. hang in there!
Thank you! I’ve been doing this for years, specially when my ED had me completely blocked from her life ! This is changed now, she’s back to out lives but I still need this small awe moments to feel my strength and
Self love! I believe that that the esthetic, the beauty is what saves us in this weird world where we’re living now. 🙏🏻❤️
Dear Sheri,
I liked your article about moments of magic! I started doing this about couple of years into our son’s estrangement and it saved me. I make a point of looking for the magic as I walk our little ShihTzu, Scarlet, who is magic all by herself. If I have a day when I find myself dwelling on things I can’t fix, I go out and sit in the garden and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees. If it weren’t for my faith, I don’t think I would be here. I also started designing and making quilts entirely by hand and that effort and concentration served as needed distraction when I needed it most. I give the quilts to family and friends and kind folks I have met along the way. I made quilts for my son and each of his children. I imagine the one I made my son probably ended up in the trash but my grandchildren seemed to appreciate theirs. Giving them away has brought me great joy.
I enjoy hearing from you and look forward to your articles. I have read all your books which were really helpful. I can’t say that I will ever get over this but at least I can function now and there are many moments of peace and joy. Thank you for all you do.
Best regards,
Carol
Hi Carole, I picked up on a point in your letter ” I will never get over this” No you won’t get over it , Its too big a thing to get over. You never accept it as its unacceptable You learn to live with it, and learn to manage it. It is always there walking at your side but you can live with it and enjoy life inspite of it always holding a small measure of hope that things will one day be differant. Elaine
This is beautiful Sheri! I have tried to do this, see the magic in nature. I live at the beach so it’s easy to see peace and beauty all around me… the ocean, sand, seagulls, dragonflies, sun, even dark clouds and rain when they roll through. There’s always something to notice. It has helped me in the almost four years of estrangement to get outside and clear my head and really see that magic. I will now try to do it everyday!
Beautiful and heartfelt is this post and thank you. Everyday I walk my dog I try to look for the “lovely”. I do see GOD’S hand in HIS creation and what a beautiful time now to see all of it. Blessings to all the Mom’s who hearts are aching right now, including mind.
Thank you for this wonderful article.
I have a lot of things going on that hit me all at once—loss of a friend who just died suddenly, I injured my foot, and am facing surgery on another physical issue. .
I have been estranged since 2015 from my son, his wife and three boys. Has been heartbreaking. He refuses to take responsibility for his actions. He moved away-in another state, and just cut me and his Dad off. We have not seen our grandsons for years. I recently wrote him a note telling him I loved him. I never heard back from him. I nursed him for 2-1/2 years and was devoted to him, as a mother. My husband did everything for him too. We supported him in every way. After he married, his attitude changed. We continued to be supportive. He did something dishonest. We confronted him. He deflected. And it all ended up in estrangement, and worse his wife telling me that our three grandsons were not going to be allowed to have a relationship with us-that we were considered dead! I had to let them go, but I did write that note. I do still love our son, And we have missed our grandsons growing up. The oldest is in college. The other two are now in high school. We have three other children who also have given up on their brother. As a mother, I never will. Jesus is my anchor! I refuse to be hopeless in this circumstance. And I will look for moments of beauty daily.
I read a comment the other day
‘One of the hardest things you will ever have to do is grieve the loss of someone who is still alive’
So true for us all
Yes, glimmers or sparks of joy are so important! I feel like Sheri’s newsletters are glimmers for me too. All of these families are role models for me.
I never heard of estrangement until it happened to me. And then Estranged child moved to my parent’s state and my parent kept the secret from me and siblings. My parent knew we suffered but keeping Estranged a secret was more important. Then my parent’s sister blamed me for the estrangement! So it was an out of state mean fest. My own sibling joined in. When my parent died not one family member told me. Everyone in hometown sided with my aunt even tho there is no contact with my Estranged Child or grandchildren.
I don’t even like looking at pix of my parents or siblings. Or Aunts and Uncles. It hurts.
I did adopt other family members as my parents, both are deceased. Now have 2 people who keep in touch. It is helpful to know my Extranged and many in my family inherited Borderline Personality Disorder. I always knew they were mean but I didn’t know anything different. Other families struggle with why and I suspect mental illness is involved but not diagnosed.
We had to block our Estranged because we couldn’t take the cruelty and lies anymore. Our close children and grandchildren do not need disappearing cousins and aunts and uncles. I worry for estranged grandchildren but nothing I can do.
Looking for the glimmers helps keep me grateful. Thank you, Sheri.
Sheri, you have been such a lifesaver in this estrangement. My oldest son and daughter in law estranged 6 years ago, ignoring us as his father was in treatment for terminal cancer. My husband of 56 years died of his cancer last April. Out of the blue, after his father passed, he hit me with accusations of mentally abusing him all his life. Of course, non of this is true.
I have read your book, DONE WITH THE CRYING and refer to it often. I am blown away by the irrationality, chaos and lack of respect in these situations. I was a very good Mother and my husband was an excellent Father. I am so appreciative for your counseling that so help me get through. Thank you. Now I am a new widow alone with no support from my children.
I didn’t mention that my second son is the one who accuses me of abuse, so I have lost both of them.